hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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