she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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