just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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