so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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