you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
