im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
