You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
