im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
