You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
