windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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