I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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