I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
