Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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