yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
