she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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