this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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