too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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