I think i sorta joined a cult last night
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Randomize
