Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
