I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
