I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
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