I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
