I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
