Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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