coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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