I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
