Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
