I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
