just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
