I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
