listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
