I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
