yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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