I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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