Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
