you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
