haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She told me I should be a condom model.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
