Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
