i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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