Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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