She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
They took my balls.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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