I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
