Dual....:-)
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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