my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
