Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
