I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
