This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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