If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
