he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
