I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
