I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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