at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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