I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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