Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
