Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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